Twilight: Sometime After the Change
by Vamdragon
Summary: This is not for fangirls. Bella becomes a vampire, unicorns are violent, Edward loves High School Musical, and the vampire coven gets a theme song. From the works of the I HATE TWILIGHT GUIlD from


**Twilight: Sometime After the Change**

By

The I HATE TWILIGHT GUILD from

Writers

Vamdragon, RyuShikyo Yagari, KuuroKurro, Tezoma Kita, and Aikou Kyuui

Edited and Revised by

Vamdragon

Chapter 1

So Bella finally becomes a vampire…

When Bella was scheduled to give birth the baby was to eat its way out.(this is the way baby vampires are born) Well as it was eating its way out her belly Edward decided he wanted some of that action. He bent down and started chewing on her bloated belly."NOMANOMANOMANOMA….YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!" he said out of breath. Well as he did this his "venom" went into her body starting the change from human to vampire. She passed out but everyone thought she was dead so they gave the baby to Jacob.

Well turns out Jacob was a pedophile and liked babies. So he fell in love with the new baby and ran off to plan the wedding they would have together. He was good to the baby and didn't do anything creepy. (Thank GOD)

Mean while Bella, who everyone thought was dead, was changing. Her skin grew more sparkly, her teeth yellow, she had the odd cravings for dancing and licking her butt, and she grew attracted to animals and others of the same sex. All together this was forming the new Bella. She opened her eyes got up and stepped outside.

And she sees the world in a new way. Everything is rainbows and unicorns playing in the flowers and they poop butterflies!! "WOW!!!" Bella says "This is like when I smoked WEED!!!!! YAY!!!!!! OOOooooo and I gots sparkly skin!!! THE AMULET CHARLIE THE AMULET!!!!!! SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!!!!" Far off into the distance she sees a unicorn. Pretty and shiny and white, she gets the odd urge to quote more from Charlie the unicorn. "We're on a bridge Charlie!!!!" she yelled. Ironically the unicorn was actually on a bridge.

And after she said this, the unicorn turned its head and ran full speed in an attempt to impale the new vampire. And it lands! She got stabbed right in the heart. Edward walked outside and noticed this. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Edward as he danced to her body in a tootoo. Edward leaned over to Bella to give her the kiss of life, then, Bella pushed him off "Go Kiss Jacob for all I care. " she said in a strange deep man like voice.

Then he realized it wasn't Bella. IT WAS ZAC EFFRON (I think I spelled his name wrong, oh well .-.) from high school musical his FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!!! And he had the biggest crush on him. "NOOOO!!! DONT GOOOOO!!!!" said Edward. Zac Effron stared at him in disbelief. Edward stared back, then glomped him in the flower meadow they were both in. Zac was taken off guard by Edward sudden hug, Edward kissed him. Zac immediately pushed him off "what the heck are you doing?!" Edward held out his hand, "will you dance ballet with me?"

**Tezoma Kita **Randomly walks by just in time to see Edward kiss Zac, wonders wtf? Thinks it's best just not to ask and keeps on walking...

Edward turned his ugly head "DUDE!!!!!!!!! ZAC!!!!!!!! There's a girl over there! Let's go annoy her!!!!!!!!!!!!!" After saying that he started to chase her prancing in his tootoo. Right then Tezoma Kita began to bash their heads in with a ***** paddle. So Edward and Zac dance around her saying "POKIE POKE POKE POKIE POKE POKE TEHEHEHEHE" and she ran away screaming.

Edward then stopped and realized "hey wait... if your Zac Effery, then where's Bella?" As they look around they see Bella chasing after a random deer. Ever since Bella last kissed Jacob, she had been strangely acting like a wolf. No one really noticed, nor cared. Bella hunted down the deer, then finally tackling it down. She then bit the deer's neck, blood gushing around the two. Jacob stared, and then decided to join Bella. Edward stared at the two feeding on the deer. Then went off to dance in his tootoo some more."OMG THIS IS AMAZING!!!" said Bella as she ate the deer and somehow she turned into a wolf A PINK WOLF. Edward kept dancing, and then he danced off a cliff. But he never noticed strange...Edward fell off the cliff, once he noticed he was falling he started to scream, it sounded like a man trying to sing soprano in an opera. He landed with a huge crack. Bella peeked over the cliff "who was that idiot that fell off the cliff just now?" Rosalie popped out of nowhere and said "NO ONE!!! BELLA MAKE OUT WITH MEEEEE!!!!" And they made out and it was creepy....Jacob puked by the site, Zac effery started to feel left out of the story, so he went emo.

Chapter 2

The Mix

So somehow twilight ended up like High School Musical because all those people followed their leader, Zac. But come to find out Edward wasn't really dead. His amazing butt powers made it possible to come back to life. So he went and found Zac and started being emo to.

They stayed close together and ended up having mixed lives. It ended up being Emo Twilight High School Musical and they sang about dying and drinking blood. So Mel Gibson (if that's how his name is spelled) sponsored and directed the movie. It got worse ratings than Mariah Carey in Glitter..... Twilight haters now became high school musical haters to....So mobs went to kill them with sawn off shot guns but they didn't kill the twilight people...oh no they were the ones who gave the haters the location of the players in High School Musical. So Edward and the new couple Rosalie and Bella found themselves stumble upon a YouTube video and they loved it SOOOOOOOO much!!!! They showed it to their whole family and they loved it so much they showed the whole vampire nation. the vampire coven decided it the song would be their Theme song and they would sing it when they see each other and on every Monday and Friday at 6:30 in the morning and at 12:30am outside some kids window

Here's the video ^_^

.com/watch?v=Xo3Tpw-zLkM


End file.
